The other day, I was reflecting on kindness—why it’s important to do something kind every day. Kindness is a virtue, but expecting it from others can be a slippery slope. What we often forget is that the essence of kindness lies in not expecting anything in return: no redemption, no reward, just the simple act of giving because you feel you’ve received more than your share.

The trouble arises when we’re treated poorly. We start to question whether being kind is even worth it. The truth is, you can’t expect everyone to be kind. It’s a choice we each make, and we have to live with that choice. As the saying goes, “Either you die a hero, or you live long enough to see yourself become the villain.” The root cause of this disillusionment is often expectations. We hold people to unspoken standards—hoping they’ll behave in ways we deem ‘nice.’ But silent expectations are dangerous. If you want something, sometimes you need to say it out loud; other times, you simply need to accept people as they are.

The world has a strange way of humbling you, especially when you don’t realize you’re wrong. If you’re lucky enough, you’ll recognize what’s happening before it’s too late. Just last year, during an internship project, I found myself adapting to the problem statement much faster than my teammates. This gave me a sense of superiority—I used to get frustrated when they couldn’t keep up and contribute equally. I convinced myself that they weren’t putting in as much effort, which made it easy to look down on them for not pulling their weight. At that time, I grew resistant to group projects where one person seems to do all the work while others bask in the success. However, life has a way of bringing you full circle. In my current project, I’m working on an exciting problem with a colleague who is much smarter, more organized, and meticulous than I am. This has been a humbling experience. While I sometimes feel disappointed when things don’t go my way or when I can’t lead from the front like I’m accustomed to, I recently realized how slow of a learner I am compared to him. What struck me yesterday was how quickly he picked up concepts in a field that’s completely new to both of us, while I spent a whole week getting nowhere. In one hour of structured thinking, he helped me generalize a solution that took me days of effort to even brute-force. It gave me a strange sense of déjà vu, reminding me of my impatience during previous internships when I was in the stronger position. I now realize that I had wrongly assumed my former colleagues weren’t trying as hard as I was. I didn’t take their learning speed into account. My colleague today is far more patient with me than I ever was with my teammates. I’m grateful for this realization, and all I can say is looking forward if I am in a similar position again, I will be much better.

Note: The phrase “In most cases” is implied throughout the blog

The other day, I was returning from the lab and started evaluating if what I’m doing is right—whether it will contribute to my goals or not. I wondered, “What if I regret picking this project? What if it doesn’t turn out the way I want?” After thinking about it for a few minutes, I started reflecting on all the times in the past where I couldn’t see the road ahead clearly. Interestingly, this brought me to a larger, more abstract question that many of us have faced in one form or another: “Do I regret making this choice, or do I just wish something had been different that could’ve made my situation better?”

Well, it’s been over eight months since I last wrote a blog and a full year since I promised to make serious changes in my life. Things have been going well since then: physically, I’m in much better shape, and mentally, I’m driven without feeling guilty, so that’s a win. Over the past year, I’ve had several moments of celebration, but there’s still a feeling of incompleteness that I’d like to address. I think I’ve made some additional lifestyle changes that could be beneficial for my personal growth. While I can’t encapsulate everything that’s happened in the last eight months just yet—perhaps I’ll save that for the year-end blog—what I can do now is fast forward to today and present a new version of myself. I aim to be more regular with my upcoming blogs, a bit more unfiltered, more vocal, and happier about what I’ve accomplished, while still being as reflective about my mistakes as before.