At the end of last year, I was filled with hopes of capitalizing on the opportunities that came my way. Throughout this year, at every juncture, I believed things couldn’t get any better, yet they continued to improve. Although I hadn’t planned for specific career milestones, I did achieve some along the way. My primary goal was to confront my inner demons and address personal challenges. While I successfully resolved many of them, there were some that proved more elusive.One persistent challenge has been maintaining discipline, and my initial attempt involved a commitment to daily bathing, even in the frigid -4 degrees Celsius weather. Despite a strong start, I faltered and broke the resolution somewhere in the second month of the year. However, in the early second half of the year, I made a conscious decision to transform my life positively. Reflecting on my journey, I realized that using my blog as an outlet to vent and confess my flaws wasn’t conducive to personal growth. Consequently, I chose to pause writing blogs until I addressed some of my character flaws and could share happier news or personal milestones. Reading my blogs felt like a one-sided therapy session, and I wanted to shift the narrative.
While I don’t have joyous news to share at the moment, I aim to end the year on a positive note. I acknowledge that this blog may still sound somber, but forgive me as I attempt to infuse it with a more optimistic tone. I will also be more informative about the subjects of discussion, unlike last year.
This year kicked off with a delightful trip to Bhutan, a tranquil and serene place that felt like the perfect retirement home. While I was there, the looming thought of returning to the two projects I had recently started crept into my mind. However, since my return, I’ve been using the visuals from my trip for meditation or just to release those happy chemicals in my brain. Upon my return, I dove into working on two projects simultaneously. While I found joy in the embedded security project with a startup, the other project left me a bit disheartened due to inconclusive results. I made an effort to lead a disciplined life, juggling classes and balancing both projects. As the college fests rolled around, I unfortunately missed Kshitij Tech Fest due to work commitments. Then came Spring Fest, where on day 0, I found myself alone at the night concert. Somehow, I got separated from my friends, and a feeling of loneliness crept in. Sensing that the coming days might be similar, I impulsively decided to head back home.
During this time, I also received an offer from one of my MITACS projects. It’s worth noting that when I applied for research fellowships, I was heavily involved in a High-Performance Computing (HPC) project. Consequently, my applications were mostly geared towards HPC and a few embedded projects. Despite not planning to accept HPC projects, as I wanted to stay close to hardware, I found myself in a dilemma when I received an offer for an Embedded Systems project. My field of interest broadly encompasses Computer Architecture and Embedded Systems, but most of my work experience until that point had been in embedded systems.Faced with this decision, I sought advice from various sources (a friend, a senior, and ChatGPT). After careful consideration, I chose to pursue the research internship, primarily for the recommendation letter, despite not having concrete plans to join the lab, which specialized in Network Research.
After gaining valuable exposure to automotive security and receiving appreciation for my work, along with promising results in my microarchitectural security project, I was geared up for my journey to Canada. Despite it being the longest flight of my life, I couldn’t fully enjoy the experience. Upon reaching there, Professor Jorg Liebeherr welcomed me warmly. I kicked off my time by utilizing the campus gym, but on the third day, I got scolded for being an hour late to the lab, unaware that I had a meeting with the Professor at 10 am that morning. However, since that incident, I made it a point to reach the lab before 10 am every day, contributing to a highly productive summer. While I couldn’t publish a paper based on my project, I did secure a robust recommendation letter and an offer to join the lab. Beyond the technical expertise gained, my stint in Canada taught me about the inner workings of a research group and the value of a close-knit, small research community. Despite feeling homesick throughout my time there, I didn’t engage much in city exploration, possibly due to a lack of confidence or a subconscious inclination to return home before dark. My routine consisted of waking up, cooking lunch and breakfast, heading to the lab, returning, and sleeping, often wasting weekends in the process.
This became my second abroad trip where I hindered my own experience due to laziness, unnecessary overthinking, and pedantic procrastination. However, I found solace and purpose in the lab environment, where I could immerse myself in work without worrying about external factors. Consequently, I started staying late, overworking, and indulging in fried junk food from campus food trucks, leading to a noticeable weight gain, perhaps exceeding 5 kgs. In the last month, I seized a long weekend (without missing a single work day) for a trip to Banff, a hill station in another part of Canada. The experience was somewhat awkward for me, being my first trip with friends from college or otherwise. The short duration made it exhausting, and my health wasn’t cooperative, especially during a 15km long trek to a 8000 ft high mountain. It was during this trek that I realized the mess my physical health was in, almost feeling like my heart would collapse. I lagged behind by about two hours, despite starting the journey together. After returning and a week of consistently sleeping 10 to 12 hours a day, the physical pain from the trip gradually subsided.
In the final weeks, Professor Liebeherr organized a warm barbecue dinner for us, marking one of the best days of my entire stay. After about three months of productive work, with the support of Professor Leibeherr and my project mentor, Dixin Wu, I bid adieu to the University of Toronto with cherished memories of the lab, and field outings (for deployment of our solution).
I returned to campus for the Autumn Semester with personal milestones in mind, particularly to figure out the next path in my career. Initially, I had the idea of sitting for placements but also applying to a mix of MS and PhD programs. However, my focus in the first half of the semester shifted to gathering a third recommendation letter from my microarchitectural security project. Unfortunately, the positive results I achieved over the summer were overturned upon my return, leading me to test various hypotheses. This period was a bit disappointing as I had hoped for a publication by September. Despite this setback, I dedicated myself to the project without worrying about the outcome or my career.
Inspired by the Sulphur mountain trek, I started working out and controlling my diet. This left me lagging behind in preparing my graduate applications, and I found myself unsure whether I wanted to pursue a PhD or if an MS would suffice. Consequently, I ended up taking the GRE unplanned, only to later realize it wasn’t required for the places I applied.
After preparing a list of prospective colleges and supervisors, I began emailing them. My confidence received a boost with a few positive responses, but towards the end, I faced a struggle with the number of recommendation letters from one of my primary LoR writers. As a failsafe, I started my microspecialization project at the beginning of the semester and managed to salvage it by the semester’s end. During this time, I committed to Inter IIT, which I juggled during the semester. However, after endsems, I worried about my application and securing a good recommendation for my microspecialization thesis project, leading me to take a break from Inter IIT. I discovered a new challenge during this period—overcommitment. I was literally tired, having caught only short breaks since the Bhutan trip. Despite receiving internship opportunities from startups (yes, I am bragging), I honestly declined due to my inability to commit.
When I returned home on December 18th, I thought I finally caught a break, but then came a research project opportunity with potential graduate opportunities, and I couldn’t turn it down. Although I anticipate not fully enjoying my last semester on campus, I refrain from complaining since I feel fortunate to receive such an opportunity.
As promised, the year kept getting better in terms of career prospects, and I am grateful for that. While I realized a lot of things this year, I barely shared them with anyone. Consequently, I believe this has been the longest I haven’t complained about anything. I feel grateful for everything; at least that keeps my head light. On personal milestones, I did lose more than 17 kgs of weight, although it’s just a fraction of what I should lose. This year, instead of time, I wasted a lot of money, and I hope that won’t be the case next year. I believe the major reason this year was so delightful is because 2 + 0 + 2 + 3 equals 7 (thala for a reason).
In the coming year, my primary focus will be on chasing discipline and completing my weight loss journey. I aim to seize the current opportunities and feel a tinge of sadness as I approach my last semester on campus. Reflecting on decisions that I might have initially regretted, such as choosing KGP and my branch, I am confident that looking back, I wouldn’t change a thing. Every decision, whether good or bad, has played a role in bringing me to this point in my life. The positive experiences have been truly uplifting, while the challenges and bad decisions have contributed to shaping me and making me mentally tougher. With this outlook, we move forward into 2024.
Cheers! Happy New year folks.Thanks for reading, see you soon.
Signing off
Aditya Ranjan Jha