Well, half of the year is over. Last time I wrote a blog was three months ago — and that too was a casual attempt at poetry. I somehow see I have two drafts lying around, both technical, where I wanted to improve my scientific writing. I guess I’ll finish them later, but for now, let me just sync up with life.
This year started with me in a good initial state, and somehow it seems more packed than any set of months I’ve spent on Earth. Yet, the progress feels unquantifiable in terms of output. Still, I believe there are many lessons I’ve learned — and many more I’m yet to. I had forgotten about this blog, but the last few days I’ve been thinking about the Air India crash, and wondering if I’m missing out on the most important lesson in life.
The thought of taking a flight and having 1.5 minutes before your life collapses is something I feel scared to even imagine. But the real lesson isn’t about the crash — it’s about how small the things are that we worry about. Life, as unpredictable as it always was, never fails to surprise. We’re constantly worried about outcomes, rewards for effort, plans. But what we should really worry about are the things we take for granted, and the ones we keep postponing. “Better now than never” feels more relevant than ever.
I’m not comfortable sharing everything, but for instance: I’ve started picking up the phone instantly instead of calling back later. That’s just one of the many things I should’ve been doing all along. I’m still learning how to multiplex my time better, but hopefully I’ll get there.
Sometimes, when work gets addictive, we forget to step back and ask — is it even worth it? I think I’ve been doing that lately. But stepping back helps us find new ways to approach the same problem. I guess in the rush, I forgot to do that.
Now that I’m trying to return to the basics, it’s hard not to procrastinate. I’ve realized something — sometimes, the weirdest things make us feel purpose, energy, like we’re doing something worthwhile… only for us to realize we’re not. We’re just filling a void. A void we created by avoiding what we should’ve been doing all along.
Sometimes, suffering convinces us we’re on the right track — but in reality, it’s not serving any purpose. We create an illusion of progress. In truth, we’re just running in circles.
While I feel that I haven’t really converted my learnings into action, or my actions into results, or my results back into learning — I’ll be honest: the last few days, I’ve just felt grateful. Grateful that I’m alive and healthy, and so are the people I care about.
Now, I may not be in a great place to write opinions or gyaan. But I’ll still say this — if something in your life hasn’t turned out the way you wanted, try to move on. Because sometimes the worst outcomes become the best chapters when you look back and connect the dots. It’s unfair not to feel sad. But it’s also unfair to the time you’ve lost in penance.
Yes, I notice the irony in the opening of this blog. But like I’ve said before — me, you, everyone — we’re all hypocrites. Life is fluid. We can’t be rigid about it.
Signing off,
Aditya Ranjan Jha